Katy relives her trip to Lincoln County Hospital. Mandy remembers Terry Walsh’s fencing and Norman Jones’s corpsing. A mysterious hooded figure continues to be mysterious and hooded.
(CONTENT WARNING: This story will deal with sexual violence and mental illness. See Help Links for more information about these issues.)
MANDY: We’ve moved straight on to episode three now. Episode two is apparently missing, so we’re not quite sure what happened.
KATY: It looks like I’m going to be burnt at the stake.
MANDY: I’m sure I’ll get you out of it somehow.
KATY: Oh! I’d forgotten you could make it rain.
MANDY: You look even colder now.
KATY: This was when I had to go to hospital. They said I was lucky to be alive, but it was all part of the job, really.
MANDY: Yes, we were lucky to be doing it.
KATY: Attack! This is all very exciting.
MANDY: I must have met these outlaws in the last episode.
KATY: There are always outlaws. That one’s Terry Walsh, isn’t he?
MANDY: Oh yes. He was very good at sword fighting and bows and arrows and all that kind of thing.
KATY: And I think this is Robert Russell. He was in lots of different things.
MANDY: Look out!
KATY: The barrels always roll away.
MANDY: All this stabbing is very gory.
KATY: I wanted to join in with the swordfight but I wasn’t allowed. They said the insurance didn’t cover women.
KATY: We all did fencing at RADA. I loved it.
MANDY: I think we’re winning.
KATY: Run away! Run away!
MANDY: Why’s Timothy going with Aubrey? Has he changed sides?
KATY: Never trust a bishop.
MANDY: Is this a different monster?
KATY: Oh yes. It’s Norman Jones, isn’t it?
MANDY: Of course. He was such a giggler. I could barely look at him.
KATY: I know. I expect the people at home won’t believe it, because he always played baddies.
MANDY: Yes, it’s wonderful to see him with Aubrey’s baddie.
KATY: They’re a bit over the top, but it’s exactly what this scene needs.
MANDY: Each one thinks that he’s in charge. …
KATY: No, no, you can’t kill everyone yet. It’s only episode three. …
MANDY: At last, we’re in the studio.
KATY: There’s always a tavern. That’s not another of those monsters, is it?
MANDY: No, I think he’s a goodie. He was on our side in the swordfight.
KATY: Is he supposed to be Robin Hood?
MANDY: We weren’t allowed to call him that.
KATY: Whyever not? No-one owns Robin Hood.
MANDY: Well, you see, there had just been a Robin Hood serial. They didn’t want it to look like we were sending it up.
KATY: I expect that’s where all the props and costumes came from.
MANDY: I wonder who’s playing him. Do you recognise his voice?
KATY: He sounds familiar, but I can’t place him.
MANDY: It’s not the same man who was in the dungeon, is it?
KATY: No, he didn’t sound like this.
MANDY: Let’s hope he takes his hood off soon.
KATY: Yes, let’s storm the castle. … Oh, it’s just like you to advise caution.
MANDY: I had to be the sensible one.
KATY: What does the hooded man think?
MANDY: See, he wants a clever plan. It’s funny that I had to play clever because I’m awfully blonde in real life.
KATY: You mustn’t say that. You are very clever.
MANDY: In those days blondes weren’t supposed to play scientists.
KATY: I didn’t like the way you pretended to be so dim off camera. It wasn’t you.
MANDY: It was just my way of coping. I didn’t want men to feel threatened.
KATY: You shouldn’t have to act like that.
MANDY: Oh, the monsters are up to something as well.
KATY: Norman’s big speech. Were the others allowed to talk? Or was that too expensive?
MANDY: There’s Ted again. He didn’t get lines very often.
KATY: Ooh, planetary alignment.
MANDY: So there are lots and lots of them out in space.
KATY: I expect they’ll stay there. It would be too hard to explain how we could beat millions of them.
MANDY: And they just couldn’t do it in those days. We’re very lucky to have what we’ve got now.
KATY: Oh yes. We can see every single casque affrighting the air. And it still all comes down to pressing a button or pulling a lever.
MANDY: Aubrey still isn’t very happy.
KATY: See, this is drama. A count and a bishop arguing about marriage. We don’t need millions of space monsters.
MANDY: I expect it’s a bit boring for the children, though.
KATY: … (LAUGHING)
MANDY: My goodness. I’m surprised they mentioned that.
KATY: It does explain why they can’t get married.
MANDY: I think it’s a bit too grown up. They could have skirted around it.
KATY: I suppose you can get away with things if it’s history.
MANDY: … Now that’s a very famous line.
KATY: But he’s not very turbulent, is he?
MANDY: Oh, the poor jester.
KATY: I expect Ian enjoyed showing off.
MANDY: Yes, it was a very good fall.
KATY: We’re back on film now. Time for action.
MANDY: Will our plan work?
KATY: There’ll have to be a setback for the cliffhanger.
MANDY: Oh look. Flaming torches.
KATY: There are always flaming torches.
MANDY: We still can’t see this chap’s face.
KATY: He could be a monster, couldn’t he?
MANDY: No, I’m sure he’s supposed to be Robin Hood. In all but name. I wish I could remember who the actor was.
KATY: We must remember to read the credits at the end.
MANDY: Yes, we forgot to look for the mad old man before. … Are you somewhere else?
KATY: Oh yes. This was next to a car park, but they managed to cut around it.
MANDY: Oh no! They can see us all coming.
KATY: Good old CSO. I bet Norman didn’t get the underwear trick. It was only for women.
MANDY: We weren’t allowed to get too close to the gates here in case we really set the castle alight.
KATY: And there’s a cart of hay just there. Someone must be about to fall onto it.
MANDY: Is that Terry going up the ladder?
KATY: (LAUGHING) He’s wearing Doc Martens. They didn’t have those in the middle ages.
MANDY: Gosh! That was quite spectacular.
KATY: Oh yes, I think they put explosives on the ladders to make them do that.
MANDY: Of course, the arrow was already stuck to my chest, and they cut to me as I was falling over. It was lots of fun to do. I hope it didn’t upset any children.
KATY: Well, you couldn’t really be dead this early in the series.
MANDY: Oh, we need to see who that man was.
KATY: I think we’ve missed him. We’re already up to Ted Furnage.
MANDY: And I’m sorry to say that episode four is missing too.
KATY: But we can safely say that it turned out alright because there is another story coming up.
MANDY: Yes, next time we’ll be in the future again. Until then, it’s goodbye from Amanda Cadewell.
KATY: And goodbye from Katy Froade. Well, it was nearly Katy froze.